WHY ME, WHY YOU...WHY NOT?

“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the Heavens ‘why God, why me?’ and the thundering voice of God answered, ‘there’s just something about you that pisses me off”…Stephen King

Isn’t Life Perfect?

Perhaps the relatively stereotypical shield of ‘without prejudice’ should be tolerated at this point of inception for the sake of some uniquely discerning minds that will take the quotes and explanations in this piece entirely out of context, but then still, isn’t life at all perfect just as it is?

When disasters happen in different places and to different people be they natural or man-made, were they meant to happen or what?

Well, a school of thought tells us that whatever happened already was actually meant to happen, more like it was written down by a higher power way out of our league, thus destiny.

“Why, if it’s going to be alright, do we see it getting worse every day?...Jeanne DuPrau

Fate And Destiny

 

Although destiny and fate are often used interchangeably, they have distinct connotations. Traditional usage defines fate as a power or agency that predetermines and orders the course of events. Fate defines events as ordered or inevitable and unavoidable.

On the other hand, destiny is used with regard to the finality of events as they have worked themselves out; and to that same sense of destination projected into the future to become the flow of events as they will work themselves out.

“If I were to say ‘God why me?’ about the bad things, then I should have said ‘God, why me?’ about the good things that happened in my life”…Arthor Ashe

So this is the situation, of course bad things happen every now and then, naturally, good things happen everywhere in any possible way. When miracles happen we rejoice and even clamour for more. But when we get saddled by misfortune, we become sober in grief and forbid for such to happen again.

Not that I’m being either extremely pessimistic on one hand and contrarily optimistic on the other hand, but even if we unrealistically fail to acknowledge the dangers that come with the developments that are a result of increased knowledge such as inventions such as guns and bombs that have brought more grief than peace, the families of the victims of past natural disasters such as earthquakes and tsunamis surely said to themselves in sorrow, ‘why us?’.

“For as long as there is anyone to ask ‘why?’ the answer will always be ‘why not?’…Vera Nazarian

Selfish

Have you ever been stuck in traffic and when you tried to make a detour, a lousy fellow wouldn’t let you have your way? Well, I have happened to witness such a scenario first hand. This particular dude wouldn’t allow my friend pass on to another lane; it became quite a stiff competition that they eventually scratched each other’s cars, which by implication culminated into a nasty fiasco. Were the lads selfish with the right of way?

The question now is, what would it cost you to let your ‘road rival’ have a right of way? Maybe its destiny, perhaps it was written or we are just living freely in a random flow of series of events, selfishly, or why us? Right?

Several schools of thoughts weave series of theories into a unique web of systems to describe and justify our behavioral patterns and predictable temperaments in the face of extreme and overbearingly prevailing circumstances, which of course bring out the best in us.

In essence, in as much as we do not wish for bad things to happen to us, and in the light that we distort events by changing the course of cause and effect, ‘relatively’ bad things will surely occur to some people, some experiences of such make us better and even stronger people however depending on our exposure, mental attitude and ability to discern opportunity like diamond in the dirt we are cast into, and we become like selfish persons if we do not ask ‘why me?’ when positive things also happen to us.

“Never follow anybody who hasn’t asked why”…Aniekee Tochukwu

Eureka

What greater feeling comes close to figuring something out? Many amazing discoveries and inventions that have completely turned the world around came with a price, and they also usually come around by accident, inspiration and pain, forcing us to ascribe worthwhile value unto them.

Imagine the frustration that visited Thomas Edison after he tried countless times to invent the light bulb, he sure must have said ‘why me?’ in the midst of it all. After his ‘eureka’ moment however, his paradigm shift also helped the world see the term failure in a whole new light, when challenged how he felt when he failed countless times trying to invent the light bulb, he simply replied that he only discovered how not to invent a light bulb countless times.

Also, in Holland where they live below sea level, the probable impending danger of possible flooding has forced them to be the best at dyke technology.

What about regions where snow falls and even perform sleet stunts? This has kept inhabitants of such regions to adapt in creative ways, recognizing and appreciating the risks and possible benefits, our courage to live helps us to use the situation as a leverage, or why them right?

“For true success ask yourself these four questions: why?, why not?, why  not me?, why not now?

Your Attitude Matters

So isn’t life perfect, or is there probably a salient battle between reality and destiny? Maybe nobody can tell for sure, but one thing is certain, the most successful people failed the most times and even probably had near death experiences. This helped them have an unusual perspective on life, built their hope to help them have a positive mental attitude, and ultimately changed their outlook to be realistic out of experience and optimistic out of hope and the principle of abundance and expectation.

So the next time something extreme happens to you, either good or bad, and you are so moved to say why me? for the hurtful event please feel free to cry from your heart, and for the good things please don’t forget to shed a tear of joy, think about it, why not?

Thank you.

Akin Abimbola (akinzogee@yahoo.com)

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